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After spending the last several decades struggling nobly for equality, American women are finding out that their goal, long struggled for and hard won, once obtained, is occasionally a huge pain in the ass. As the cracks in the glass ceiling become larger and more prominent, ladies in the United States are discovering that, in addition to being generally less happy, sometimes they end up being the main providers for their household. As such, sometimes they end up paying alimony in the event of a divorce. They are not happy.

The problem is not the worthy pursuit of equal opportunity; a woman can, and should, aspire to anything. But that’s just it: women can aspire to anything. Meanwhile, society does us no favors by raising young women who believe that they are entitled to anything, not mentioning the hard work and very real possibility of failure.

The modern corruption of the once great concept and movement of feminism is to blame here. The idealized and fictional image of what equality is–or could be–leads to a generation of young women (the ladies my generation, as it happens) that expects to be given their heart’s every desire, and to receive these luxuries from the men in their life. They believe that a good man is one that takes care of her when she wants it, but lets her be a Strong & Independent Woman when she doesn’t. Sometimes it’s chivalry, sometimes it’s sexism.

And that’s the unfortunate position that a modern male finds himself in. He is regulated and controlled by the will and whim of an inconsistent, indecisive, emotional creature whose company he usually enjoys, but can seldom count on. He wants to marry her and expects that she will reciprocate his love, but she is often fickle and might leave if the reward for her unreliability an infidelity is large enough. Not because of any flaw in her character or that of her gender as a whole, but due to a society that failed to instruct her and her gender in how to have a work ethic, how to be attentive, how to be faithful and loyal, and how to be polite while not taking advantage of other human beings. Not just because she’s female, not because that’s her or anyone else’s “place,” but because that’s what a healthy and productive person does.

That’s why women are angry at this news. They are used to getting the sweet end of the deal. They can latch onto a wealthy man and, as he improves himself, she feels as though she has improved as well, but with no effort on her part. Now, as true equality begins to show itself, she wonders why she is no longer being handed the world. She wonders where her caretakers are, and she complains that someone, probably male and possibly the patriarchy and stuff, anyone but herself, is to blame because taking responsibility is difficult and unpleasant. After all, it is her right as a woman to have anything she wants. Because nobody ever thought highly enough of her, and her gender, to teach her any differently, she rationalizes her bad decisions instead of taking responsibility and action.

Liberty can be hard work. Equality is a bitch.